In his mind, John half-formed a grumbling phrase about how Bobby should be careful with that booze, or to stop stealing his liquor: but it was only a rote reflex of snark, and the words didn't pass his lips. He wasn't in the mood, anyway.
"Yeah," he said, heavily. "I mean, I didn't ask for details about everything, I just..." His mouth opened a few times, unable to form words even as the tears started to trail down his cheeks. "I fucked up, Bobby, I fucked up so badly, and ever since then the only way I was able to deal with it was to tell myself that it was always gonna happen, that my buttons were pressed, that it was inevitable. But this guy, this me, he was good enough and wise enough to get the hell away and be okay with living with the team and all the rest of it."
The tears came steadily now, and the sniffling, and John wiped them away. "Tonight I even....I did some stupid things, and I'm the fuck up. I'm the villain, okay, and I don't deserve you."
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"Yeah," he said, heavily. "I mean, I didn't ask for details about everything, I just..." His mouth opened a few times, unable to form words even as the tears started to trail down his cheeks. "I fucked up, Bobby, I fucked up so badly, and ever since then the only way I was able to deal with it was to tell myself that it was always gonna happen, that my buttons were pressed, that it was inevitable. But this guy, this me, he was good enough and wise enough to get the hell away and be okay with living with the team and all the rest of it."
The tears came steadily now, and the sniffling, and John wiped them away. "Tonight I even....I did some stupid things, and I'm the fuck up. I'm the villain, okay, and I don't deserve you."